EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Romania

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Romania. They’re sending Theodor Andrei with D.G.T (Off and On)

Date chosen: February 11, 2023

Method: Through its annual Selecția Națională 2023 selection. 12 acts competed for a chance to represent Romania in Liverpool

What I think: Okay, don’t kill me for this, but I think I found my guilty pleasure for this year. I know this is a huge step down from the Llamames and the Hola Mi Bebes from last year, but it’s not as bad musically-wise as people make it out to be. Considering we’re in rehearsals week at the time of this post, I’m sure we won’t have whatever that was at the national final.

Ranking: 6.5/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): It won’t. I don’t see it qualifying

Live performances in the Netherlands, United Kingdom, and Moldova

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EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Greece

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Greece. They are sending 16-year-old Victor Vernicos, the youngest Greek participant (and the youngest of this year’s class), with What They Say

Date chosen: January 30, 2023 (artist); March 12, 2023 (song)

Method: Victor was internally selected on January 30 by Greek TV station ERT in a private selection that included 4 other artists. His song What They Say was released on March 12.

What I think: It’s not a bad entry, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think it’s a solidly good one either. I will say that the melody makes it seem like more than 3 minutes, which is something my short-memory hole cannot handle. It is catchy, though, I will give him that

Ranking: 4/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): I don’t think it will, but with rehearsals going on this week, he might make me change my mind

No live performance, but please, enjoy the acoustic version from Eurovision’s A Little Bit More series

EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Moldova

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Moldova. They are sending Pasha Parfeny (who also competed in 2012 alongside Loreen) with Soarele și Luna

Date chosen: March 4, 2023

Method: Through the annual Etapa națională 2023 selection. 33 acts took part in the auditions and 10 of those acts competed for the chance to represent Moldova in Liverpool

What I think: This is, in my opinion, one of the biggest surprises of this contest. I actually like this song more than I would even expect to. It’s melodic from start to finish. It brings together, metaphorically, the sun and the moon. Pasha even said it himself in the interview about the references to his “cosmic” wedding to his wife Iuliana, who is one of the songwriters. Overall, I’m very happy with this choice.

Ranking: 9/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): Please? We need this!

Live performances in the United Kingdom, Spain, and Israel

EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Germany

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Germany. They are sending Lord of the Lost with Blood and Glitter

Date chosen: March 3, 2023

Method: Through their 2023 national selection Unser Lied für Liverpool, part of the “Unser Lied für” series. 9 acts competed for a chance to represent Germany in Liverpool

What I think: Well, Germany knows their thing… turn two of the hardest things to clean off a carpet into a song. I wouldn’t play this on repeat a few times. This genre really isn’t my cup of tea, but I’m sure that they would do well with the right staging and the backing of their loyal fans

Ranking: 5.5/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): It’s in the final already, so maybe in the middle of the road (or a low top 10 finish)

Live performances in the Netherlands and Germany

EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Croatia

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Croatia. They are sending Let 3 with Mama ŠČ

Date chosen: February 11, 2023

Method: Through its annual Dora national selection. The 2023 edition saw 18 acts competing for a chance to represent Croatia in Liverpool

What I think: Well… I did not think this song would be chosen for Eurovision, but you can’t have Eurovision without a song like Mama ŠČ. Surprisingly, it’s not my last place this year (neither is San Marino, Azerbaijan, or even Romania). I get the sentiment behind it as I am anti-war. Honestly, I think Eurovision needs this more than it needs Eurovision, but I can’t really replay this song a few more times before moving on to the next one.

Ranking: 2.5/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): Not a chance, but similar songs have qualified before.

Live performances in Croatia, Israel, and Poland

EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Italy

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Italy. They’re sending Marco Mengoni with Due Vite

Date chosen: February 11, 2023

Method: Through its annual San Remo Festival. 28 acts competed over 5 days for a chance to represent Italy in Liverpool. In this case, the winner gets first refusal, but Marco has accepted the offer to return to Eurovision after 10 years

What I think: Every Eurovision fan knows that Marco knows what he is doing. He had already competed in Malmo in 2013 with L’essenziale, placing 3rd (behind Denmark and Azerbaijan). However, as good as Due Vite is, I could not connect to it as much as I did with L’essenziale. Still, a great effort from Italy and I’m sure they will continue their impressive run at Eurovision

Ranking: 6/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): It’s already in the final, and I think it’ll make the top 10, but I don’t think it’ll do as well as his previous entry

Live Performances in France, Germany, and Italy

EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Ireland

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Ireland. They are sending Wild Youth with We Are One

Date chosen: February 3, 2023

Method: Through the Eurosong episode of the popular Irish late-night show The Late Late Show. 6 acts competed for a chance to represent Ireland in Liverpool

What I think: I think this is one of those generic come-together songs and we have seen those pop up repeatedly (think the UK entry in 2016 for example). However, it’s not the worst one, but also not great. What saved them from the bottom for me was that they chose love over hate, even having to dump their former creative director earlier this week for this reason. The song might not be a cup of tea, but I can always respect some effort to bring people together, even for 3 minutes

Ranking: 3/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): Probably 30% at best, maybe

Live performances in Ireland, UK, and Spain

EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Armenia

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Armenia. They are sending Brunette with Future Lover

Date chosen: February 1, 2023 (artist); March 15, 2023 (song)

Method: Brunette was chosen by Armenian TV station AMPTV on February 1, 2023, days after the speculation. Her song Future Lover was released on the Eurovision channel on March 15, 2023, becoming the 36th song to be released (Georgia’s entry was released the next day)

What I think: I’ll be honest, I was expecting something else when I saw the thumbnail on the official Eurovision channel, so I was initially disappointed with the song. What saved it was the melodic “be good, look good, do good” line and the final lines in Armenian. I have no doubt that despite my personal opinion, Armenia will do well in the contest with the right staging

Ranking: 6/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): Probably around 90%

Live performances in the Netherlands and Spain

EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Australia

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Australia. They are sending Voyager with Promise

Date chosen: February 21, 2023

Method: Voyager’s music video was released on February 21, 2023, on the official Eurovision channel under the secret “Australia Official Video” tag. They were selected internally by TV station SBS to represent Australia in Liverpool

What I think: Australia is sending a band for their first time since joining the Eurovision family in 2015, and this band has been wanting to compete in the contest this whole time. However, for me, as much I liked the melody and the guitar solo that it brings, it felt flat. There was a slight buildup but they didn’t really do anything beyond that. Still, a good effort by Australia

Ranking: 5/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): It’s Australia. Even with one prior NQ, they can still get through (but barely) so maybe 30%?

Live performances in the United Kingdom, Netherlands, and Spain

EUROVISION 2023 REVIEW: Switzerland

As promised, I will be reviewing each Eurovision entry in the most inconsistent way possible. The entries will be reviewed in a random order using my personal wheel on the Wheel of Names website.

Next is Switzerland. They are sending Remo Forrer with Watergun

Date chosen: February 20, 2023 (artist); March 7, 2023 (song)

Method: Remo was chosen internally by Swiss TV station SRG SSR on February 20. Watergun was released on the official Eurovision channel on March 7, 2023

What I think: If this was any other year, I would have ranked it lower than I have this year. His deep voice is what got me into the song in the first place. It’s not really the best, but it is better than some other ballads from years past, in my opinion. Also, the more anti-war songs, the better.

Ranking: 8/10

Chance (of qualifying and/or winning): I mean if Marius Bear was able to qualify last year, I don’t see why Remo wouldn’t

Live performances in the Netherlands, Spain, and Switzerland

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