Category: Eurovision

Date: May 13, 2023

Time: 9 pm CEST (3 pm EDT)

Location: Liverpool Arena (also called the M&S Bank Arena)

Number of Countries competing: 26

After two semis and (not a) whole lot of surprises, it all comes down to this. Tonight is the grand final and 26 countries are still in the running for the grand prize, among them the chance to host next year’s contest. Without further ado, here are my thoughts and predictions for the grand final.

1 Austria: Teya & Salena — Who the Hell is Edgar?

There is a ghost in their bodies and it carried them through to the final, and as they were my semi-final 2 winners, they don’t need to do much to convince me.

Chance of winning: Sadly, not much of a chance, but it’ll be an earworm outside the contest

2 Portugal: Mimicat — Ai Coração

I was happy to send a vote their way on Tuesday, so it’ll be a struggle to use the 20 votes between 26 acts, but I thoroughly appreciate this performance so much and I can’t wait to see it again today.

Chance of winning: Um, hello, the death slot?

3 Switzerland: Remo Forrer — Watergun

Switzerland continues their 4th consecutive run at the grand final and Remo’s song has grown on me since its March release. I was happy to have voted for him on Tuesday, so let’s see if this holds true into tonight

Chance of winning: Probably not, but it’s working well for Switzerland

4 Poland: Blanka– Solo

The power of Bejba has made it through and as I have mentioned before, the song didn’t convince me until it added the dance part. People on Twitter are, I wouldn’t say divided, but they have strong opinions about the song even after it won the national selection, but it’s Eurovision, you know.

Chance of winning: Not in a hell’s chance lol

5 Serbia: Luke Black — Samo Mi Se Spava

I’m not sure why this song resonated with me so much. It has a final boss battle, and it seems like it’s back for seconds since the Tuesday beatdown, so I know Luke has the power to destroy him again. Also, who doesn’t love sleep, right?

Chance of winning: It won’t sadly

6 France: La Zarra — Evidemment

Mother has arrived! La Zarra becomes the second Canadian-born singer to sing for France at Eurovision tonight. Between the pictures and the jury show performance on Monday, it’s little wonder she’s among those really vying for a trophy. We’ll see what happens, but I’m actually excited for her

Chance of winning: Only for the fact that France is hosting Junior Eurovision this November, I consider this a challenge accepted

7 Cyprus: Andrew Lambrou — Break a Broken Heart

Well, I didn’t know how it would go, but it turned out well for Cyprus and they’re back in the final after missing last year’s (and that one had a better chance, in my opinion). If nothing else, the pyros will do it

Chance of winning: Nope

8 Spain: Blanca Paloma — Eaea

I love this song. Not as much as anyone else though. But when she performs it live, she actually elevates it. She had her jury show performance on Wednesday, and the part where she “holds” the light is something I think will send goosebumps. There’s little reasons why this is among those vying for a trophy, and I would love to see Spain lift it again after 54 years

Chance of winning: Maybe 75-80%

9 Sweden: Loreen — Tattoo

Loreen, the ever-so-loving artist from Sweden, and she’s vying to be the Swedish Johnny Logan. Make no mistake, it’s a great song. The comments after yesterday’s jury final were mixed at best, but if you know you know. She still got it, even after 11 years

Chance of winning: 90%

10 Albania: Albina & Familija Kelmendi — Duje

The family affair has returned. This was a surprise qualifier from Thursday and I guess it convinced enough people to put them there in the final. However, I’m not for family drama, but that’s not what we’re seeing here. It’s just normal things families go through (at least the good ones) and they exude that. Let’s see how much convince they do to those watching tonight

Chance of winning: Practically 0%

11 Italy: Marco Mengoni — Due Vite

10 years after L’essenziale, Marco Mengoni is back, becoming the first Italian artist to return to the contest since Italy’s big return in 2011. Marco’s initial performance during San Remo got him the win there and a chance to return to the stage. I don’t think Due Vite has the same magic as L’essenziale, but I always believed Marco knows what he’s doing, so I’m not worried

Chance of winning: Not sure tbh

12 Estonia: Alika — Bridges

Of course, my overall last-placed entries keep qualifying year after year. Other than that, the only interesting thing you’ll find here is the haunting piano.

Chance of winning: 0%

13 Finland: Käärijä — Cha Cha Cha

From the worst to the best, this and Sweden are the safest bets to make when it comes to predicting a Eurovision winner. Eurovision gods, do your thing and let Käärijä lift the trophy

Chance of winning: 95%

14 Czechia: Vesna — My Sister’s Crown

Ever since they performed in Prague at the national final, they have always stayed in my top 3, and there’s something magical about this song that resonated with me (read: female empowerment). This song is in four languages, so for a lot of Eurovision fans, that is a plus. For me, it’s the whole package.

Chance of winning: Unfortunately, no chance

15 Australia: Voyager — Promise

They promised Europe that it’ll be alright, and now they’ll really promised that it will be alright. The camerawork was probably the most chaotic ever for Australia, but it tracks. Really good entry too

Chance of winning: Maybe 20%

16 Belgium: Gustaph — Because of You

Like I said earlier, it’s not Eurovision without a queer anthem, and this is it. Belgium is serving it (with a side of a hat-loving performer in Gustaph). This song also grew on me in the final days leading up to the semi-final, and it’s still a grower

Chance of winning: Sadly, not much

17 Armenia: Brunette — Future Lover

I hope Brunette’s future lover sees this and not fuck it up because they might get a good one. This is a solid performance and it just kept building on that after each rehearsal. I’m not sure if the dance break was added just for the show, but it’s a great addition.

Chance of winning: 40% probably

18 Moldova: Pasha Parfeni — Soarele și Luna

From picking up chicks using a trumpet to now professing his love for his wife in an out-of-the-world wedding ceremony, Pasha has grown so much in the 11 years since he first took the stage for Moldova. I would recommend watching this performance 6 times just to see a different person each time.

Chance of winning: No dice, really (although Pasha told CNN that he expects to win)

19 Ukraine: Tvorchi — Heart of Steel

The defending champs are here, and they sent a duo to Liverpool to defend the Ukrainian colors. Sadly, I don’t see them lifting the trophy anytime soon, but they are building on a theme born out of the Russian aggression that the country is forced to fight in.

Chance of winning: Less than 30%, I think

20 Norway: Alessandra — Queen of Kings

Her name is she, queen of the kings, and she has made it to the final (but not without having her wait like that). This song sounds very Norwegian, especially towards other songs that have competed for Norway in the past, and Alessandra gets along so well with other artists. I wish nothing but the best for her tonight

Chance of winning: Maybe 60%

21 Germany: Lord of the Lost — Blood and Glitter

Thankfully they don’t have actual blood and glitter, but they are bringing what I think is Germany’s best hope for a trophy since 2018. Though I’m not a fan of their song, they got something going on here

Chance of winning: Oh, I don’t know… 35%

22 Lithuania: Monika Linkyte — Stay

Orange is back for one last shot in the annual contest. She is, of course, here to stay. It might not be my favorite, but the harmonic nature always sends me.

Chance of winning: No chance

23 Israel: Noa Kirel — Unicorn

The ending dance break got me. I saw one of my favorite TikTok creators dance to it. It truly is phenomenal (I somehow got that part down, and no, I will not film or post it). It’s just worthy of being a major TikTok sound outside of Eurovision and I am here for it

Chance of winning: 50-50

24 Slovenia: Joker Out — Carpe Diem

These 5 lads are just the cutest tbh. They seized every opportunity they could get ever since they were chosen and it has paid off for them. I’m actually excited for them and I can’t wait to vote for them again tonight

Chance of winning: As much as I love them…

25 Croatia: Let 3 — Mama ŠČ

I have mentioned on Twitter when they were chosen in February that it might be a WTF, but it might also pay off in the end, and it did. For those who only watch the grand final, get ready because it’s chaos with a message behind it. And we are here for it.

Chance of winning: No more than 0%

26 United Kingdom: Mae Muller — I Wrote A Song

The hosts are continuing their newfound efforts of sending great entries to Eurovision and there’s no doubt Mae will make the UK proud just like Sam Ryder has last year. She ate and left no crumbs, y’all

Chance of winning: Maybe, probably, 50-50

My actual top

1. Finland
2. Austria
3. Czechia
4. United Kingdom
5. Sweden
6. Serbia
7. Moldova
8. Norway
9. Portugal
10. Switzerland
11. Israel
12. Spain
13. France
14. Belgium
15. Ukraine
16. Albania
17. Slovenia
18. Italy
19. Armenia
20. Lithuania
21. Cyprus
22. Germany
23. Australia
24. Poland
25. Croatia
26. Estonia

My final prediction

1. Finland
2. Sweden
3. France
4. Spain
5. Austria
6. Armenia
7. Norway
8. Belgium
9. United Kingdom
10. Czech Republic
11. Slovenia
12. Croatia
13. Moldova
14. Switzerland
15. Israel
16. Italy
17. Germany
18. Estonia
19. Portugal
20. Serbia
21. Lithuania
22. Albania
23. Cyprus
24. Australia
25. Ukraine
26. Poland

Conclusion

The day is set, and I and about 160 million or so people are ready to see the annual “mecca” as I would like to call it, so I’ll be back tomorrow for the final review

Date: May 11, 2023

Time: 9 pm CEST (3 pm EDT)

Location: Liverpool Arena (also called the M&S Bank Arena)

Number of Countries competing: 16

Tonight is the second of three shows for the year. After coming in with a 90% rate on Tuesday, I thought that I’ll give it a go in giving my thoughts and expectations for the second semi-final. 16 acts are competing for the final 10 spots in the grand final. This one, however, is harder to predict than it looks, even though three acts have been all but written off already (that doesn’t mean they can’t qualify… look at Croatia lol)

1 Denmark: Reiley — Breaking My Heart

The guy is a social media star on TikTok, he’s the first from the Faroe Islands to compete at Eurovision, and tonight he will be pretty in pink. The props are basically the same as in the official music video. As for the autotune, I’m sure he got that down on lock as previous Eurovision acts have done. Still, I’m a bit iffy about its chances

Chance of qualifying: 50%

2 Armenia: Brunette — Future Lover

From what I have read and seen about this performance, there is no way I’m leaving this out. This has to qualify! Eurovision gods, do whatever you can to bring that Snap energy to Brunette and Armenia because they gotta build on that. Decide to be good, look good, and do good today, people. I’ll be voting for this tonight for sure. Still not a fan of the song, though, but I’m excited for this one

Chance of qualifying: 90%

3 Romania: Theodor Andrei — D.G.T. (Off and On)

As I had mentioned earlier, this is my guilty pleasure. I had it in my top 10 for a while, but now it’s sitting in the middle. Still, I’m probably not expecting much from him. I mean, I know he’s building on that “rock and roll never dies” mantra from Maneskin, but this ain’t it, bro.

Chance of qualifying: 20%

4 Estonia: Alika — Bridges

My last places have a better chance at qualifying than my winners. Thankfully, my overall winner (Finland) is in the final, and given my personal track record, Estonia will qualify too. She kept the haunting piano which I’m sure will carry her through. Song sucks tho

Chance of qualifying: 85%

5 Belgium: Gustaph — Because of You

You can’t have Eurovision without a queer anthem, and Belgium is bringing it. Gustaph also likes hats. Anyway, like Denmark, pink is the name of the game here (along with black). This will cheer you up when you’re down and I’m hoping for a three-minute party on stage.

Chance of qualifying: 90%

6 Cyprus: Andrew Lambrou — Break a Broken Heart

As reluctant as I can be, this is actually qualifying. Andrew is a solid performer and there’s no doubt in my mind that he will elevate it tonight. I have this among my predictions as a shoe-in, so let’s see how this goes

Chance of qualifying: 70%

7 Iceland: Diljá — Power

I really like this song, and I would love to have it in the final, but on my predictions list, it’s on standby. One thing I know about her is that she’s an energetic performer, so she might have a chance. Or maybe not. She’s also a huge Eurovision fan… I’m just adding it here.

Chance of qualifying: 60%

8 Greece: Victor Vernicos — What They Say

Yeah, so there’s probably a very minuscule change that he will qualify for the final. The song wasn’t there for me when it came out, and I never really grew into it as time went on. However, he rocked the khakis.

Chance of qualifying: 30%

9 Poland: Blanka — Solo

Bejba, it’s kana krejza! Alright, still not a fan of the song, but once I heard Blanka added a dance solo, I said, “you know what? We need this in the final”. I’m happy she has embraced the bejba nickname after the backlash she went through after winning the national selection (there’s points to be made, but not the point). I’ll definitely vote for this one tonight

Chance of qualifying: 80%

10 Slovenia: Joker Out — Carpe Diem

The guys from Joker Out have been incredible since their song was released in February, so I’ll be extra happy if they do qualify. I don’t know how close the audience will be to them like they were back home in Slovenia, but they can pull it off. They’re gonna seize the day (and the semis, just saying). I’ll swing a vote or two their way

Chance of qualifying: 90%

11 Georgia: Iru — Echo

Eurovision gods, please let this girl qualify. She really deserves it. The song has been stuck with me since its March release. She even won Junior Eurovision ffs (as part of Candy, one of three Georgia acts to win Junior Eurovision). She’s the one I worry about the most, so let’s see what happens. I’ll be voting for this one too

Chance of qualifying: 75%

12 San Marino: Piqued Jacks — Like an Animal

Piqued Jacks have also been incredible, even though they practically have no chance of qualifying. They have embraced that and even replied to one of my tweets commenting on their sense of humor, so I really appreciate that.

Chance of qualifying: Practically 0%

13 Austria: Teya & Salena — Who the Hell is Edgar?

My semi-final 2 winners. I got to watch them react to other Austrian acts yesterday via Eurovision Hub and it turns out this is not the first time Austria has delved into this topic, so they know what’s up, I guess. I got no worries for them — they know what they’re doing.

Chance of qualifying: 100%

14 Albania: Albina & Familija Kelmendi — Duje

Do we all love a good family affair? It’s all in the family for Albina, her siblings, and her parents as they take the stage. Good song, the staging I heard is powerful. However, I feel like something’s missing. Well, we’ll see, but get ready for some supposed family drama here

Chance of qualifying: 50%

15 Lithuania: Monika Linkyte — Stay

Monika will do it again. You heard it here first (except you’ve heard it before). 8 years ago, she teamed up with Vaidas Baumila, and this time, she’s solo with the girls in tow. As a woman, I love seeing other women do their thing, and this is no different. There’s also a lot of orange, my third favorite color. So, yes, I’m putting this through to the final

Chance of qualifying: 80%

16 Australia: Voyager — Promise

Like Cyprus, this is a shoe-in qualifier for me. They’re huge Eurovision fans and have been wanting to compete since Australia started competing and it’s finally their time. One request though: I hope they promise it’ll be alright no matter what happens tonight

Chance of qualifying: 55%

My actual top

1. Austria
2. Georgia
3. Denmark
4. Iceland
5. Belgium
6. Romania
7. Albania
8. Slovenia
9. Armenia
10. Lithuania
11. Cyprus
12. Australia
13. Greece
14. San Marino
15. Poland
16. Estonia

My final prediction

1. Armenia
2. Estonia
3. Belgium
4. Cyprus
5. Poland
6. Slovenia
7. Georgia
8. Austria
9. Lithuania
10. Australia

Conclusion

That’s my thoughts for the semi-final. Come back tomorrow for my review

Date: May 9, 2023

Time: 9 pm CEST (3 pm EDT)

Location: Liverpool Arena (also called the M&S Bank Arena)

Number of Countries competing: 15 (with France, Germany, and Italy voting)

This marks the first of three shows for Eurovision 2023. The individual rehearsals are done, the opening ceremony came and went, and the 15 countries (plus the three automatic qualifiers randomly selected to vote in the semi) had their three run-through rehearsals. Now, it is time to watch the show and pick out the 10 qualifiers for Saturday’s grand final. Before we do that, I’ll take a look at each country’s chances of qualifying and what I think about their performances based on the photos of the rehearsals released by the European Broadcasting Union

1 Norway: Alessandra — Queen of Kings

It’s kind of the same as the national final. She obviously has the stage presence and her voice is amazing. I still have her in my top 10 and I have no doubt that she will perform well soon

Chance of qualifying: 100%

2 Malta: The Busker — Dance (Our Own Party)

This one is also in my personal top 10 and I really want this to qualify. You might catch the cardboard cutouts of past Maltese Eurovision contestants like Destiny Chukunyere and Ira Losco. You might see the graphics they put up like from the national final. The boys got the busking down (hence the name), but we’ll see how it goes

Chance of qualifying: 50%

3 Serbia: Luke Black — Samo Mi Se Spava

I like playing video games sometimes. I get the thrill of fighting the final boss. This one kept the same theme as in the national final, which also gives Salvador Dali a run for the money with the lobster phone. I would put this in the final if I were you.

Chance of qualifying: 80%

4 Latvia: Sudden Lights — Aijā

I’m not sure what to make of this one. I understood it’s based on a Latvian lullaby but I think it’s doing just that for me. Still, the opening beat is just perfection.

Chance of qualifying: 40%

5 Portugal: Mimicat — Ai Coração

Keeping the cabaret vibe going (without the red couch from the national final), Mimicat’s 30-second rehearsal clip actually left me mesmerized. I don’t think there’s anything else to say other than put this in the final

Chance of qualifying: 90%

6 Ireland: Wild Youth — We Are One

Wild Youth frontman Conor O’Donoghue is the king of sequin this year. His outfit is giving Elvis but in gold. However, as much as they made changes to their song, I still think they will either miss the final altogether or squeeze on by (we won’t know for sure until after the grand final)

Chance of qualifying: 30%

7 Croatia: Let 3 — Mama ŠČ

The whole performance might be one big WTF (and it still is). The best thing to know about it is that the tractor is used as a metaphor. Other than that, it might be hard to understand unless you speak Croatian.

Chance of qualifying: 20% (and it’s because similar songs have passed through before)

8 Switzerland: Remo Forrer — Watergun

Great job, EBU, for putting two anti-war songs in a row, and just like with Croatia’s song, the watergun used for Switzerland’s entry is a metaphor. Remo has a deep baritone voice and I think that will carry him through to the final

Chance of qualifying: 85%

9 Israel: Noa Kirel — Unicorn

Um… we need this in the final? Like, it’s gonna be phenomenal (or however she says it) based on the rehearsal clip. The dance break at the end is giving Chanel. I’m sorry, but we need Israel in the final this year. No questions asked

Chance of qualifying: 90%

10 Moldova: Pasha Parfeni — Soarele și Luna

You take the moon and you take the sun. Just kidding, but Pasha did just that. He took the moon and the sun and put them in a Eurovision package. Pasha’s been in the final before and I’m sure he can do it again

Chance of qualifying: 80%

11 Sweden: Loreen — Tattoo

Should I say something about Loreen’s performance? She went all the way in 2012, and 11 years later, it’s clear she still got it. Considering that we have three hot favorites to win from this semi alone (Norway, Sweden, and Finland), this might be an uphill battle, but who knows really?

Chance of qualifying: 100%

12 Azerbaijan: TuralTuranX — Tell Me More

This song is way too boring for me, but songs of this caliber have made it through, so it’s probably not gonna be a problem for the twins. I’m just saying

Chance of qualifying: 70%

13 Czechia: Vesna — My Sister’s Crown

I need this to go through to the final. It’s in 4 languages (the verses in English, the intro and outro in Czech, the rap part in Bulgarian, and the chorus in Ukrainian), the girls hail from 4 different countries (Czech Republic, Russia, Bulgaria, and Slovakia)… it’s already a cultural melting pot. The international viewers teamed up with the Czech viewers to get them to Liverpool so now we have to get them through to the final (without Czech viewers because you can’t vote for your own country)

Chance of qualifying: 85%

14 Netherlands: Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper — Burning Daylight

Mia and Dion are the greatest of friends. Their song had Duncan Lawrence’s fingerprints on it. I still feel like they are playing it safe, tho. Probably because the staging doesn’t need to be a big production, but I think this could be a shock non-qualifier

Chance of qualifying: Probably hovering around 45%

15 Finland: Käärijä — Cha Cha Cha

It’s crazy. It’s party. It’s energetic. People, we’re putting Finland through to the final. You can’t tell me they cannot qualify. You can’t tell me he can’t win. To me, this is just pure perfection.

Chance of qualifying: 100%

My actual top

1. Finland
2. Czech Republic
3. Sweden
4. Serbia
5. Moldova
6. Malta
7. Norway
8. Portugal
9. Switzerland
10. Israel
11. Netherlands
12. Latvia
13. Ireland
14. Croatia
15. Azerbaijan

My final prediction

• Norway
• Serbia
• Portugal
• Switzerland
• Israel
• Moldova
• Sweden
• Azerbaijan
• Czech Republic
• Finland

Conclusion

That’s it from me. I’ll be back tomorrow for a review of the first semi-final